Mean girls & Queen Bees in the under 5 crowd

Is it wrong of me to feel intense dislike for a 4 year old?

But I can’t help it. Because this particular 4 year old girl seems to control my daughter’s mood from day to day, seems able to dictate the success or failure of a morning at preschool or an afternoon at ballet on a whim.

“V. said I could be her friend today!”
“V. wouldn’t let me play princess with her today.”
“V. was my friend this morning but at ballet she was Z’s friend.”

I mean honestly! These girls are 4 years old! One day Lola Gray thinks this child “is the meanest girl in the world” and the next day she thinks she hung the moon. And I haven’t a clue what to do about it.

I tell her that V. doesn’t get to decide who Lola plays with – Lola can play with anyone and everyone she wants to. I tell her that real friends never say “you can’t play.” And at the time it seems like she understands. “Isa is always my friend” she says. Great! Play with Isa, I say. But the very next day . . . .

I just want to scream at this child! I want to tell my daughter that this girl does not deserve to be her friend, that she is manipulative and mean and not worthy of Lola’s friendship!

Instead, I tell her that I hope she will never hurt another child’s feelings the way this girl hurts hers. I tell her to always be nice to her friends, that there is always room for everyone to play. But still, it breaks my heart . . .

I just never expected this in preschool! How on earth will we survive Junior High??


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